Harriet Smith-ing Gone Awry, Or The Time I Almost Caught My Porch On Fire

Do you ever hold on to totally random, seemingly useless items just for the sentimentality? And do you ever suddenly realize that you really don't need those random, totally useless items? And then do you think that it might be nice to display your realized lack of sentimentality to yourself by burning those useless items?

This story happened back in November, but I had decided not to blog about it, for various reasons. Then, last week, I decided that I might as well. This is one of the funniest moments in my recent history, and it deserves additional laughter, although I'm not sure how funny it will be if you weren't there.

So, as previously mentioned, last November I decided to burn a couple of things. The items were both natural fiber-based, so there didn't seem any harm in setting them aflame. I had an old candle jar (with a little wax still in the bottom) that would set the scene nicely. Concerned about smoke in my home, I took the operation out onto my porch.

I placed the items in the candle jar, lit them with a match, and sat back to watch the burning. Unfortunately, it took longer than expected, and the boredom (and cold) soon drove me back inside. I checked on my little bonfire semi-frequently, about every ten minutes. It seemed to be taking forever.

After about an hour of burning, I stepped outside and was greeted by a candle jar engulfed by flame! Alarmed, I suddenly recalled that I had recently poured some bacon grease into the jar, and that the grease had probably melted and contributed to the inferno before me.

Determined to keep a cool head and act swiftly, I ran inside and filled up a cup with water, pouring it into the jar when I returned to the porch. The cold water on the hot glass caused the jar to break, and wax went spilling out onto the porch. I filled up and emptied the cup a couple more times before the blaze was entirely quenched, at which point I realized the ridiculous of the scenario and started laughing hysterically. This is what I was left with:

Shortly afterwards, I went out and scraped the remaining wax off the porch, but there still remained a slightly charred, slightly waxy mark on the concrete, the lasting memory of this experiment...gone up in flames.

Thanks for reading.

Iiiiiiitttt'ssss Candle Time!

Hello, all you lovely people!

Today, I went with my parents down to Hill Air Force Base, where we met my sister with her boyfriend (and his kids and dad) to go through the museum together. As luck would have it, our long-awaited candle order arrived this very morning! As Heather and I had discussed vlogging together, this seemed like the perfect opportunity.

Please forgive the somewhat choppy editing; this is my very first attempt at the craft.

Thanks for reading! And watching!

As I Lay Dying...or while I'm just sick.

I've been sick this week, and since I know you all need more insight into the hurtling cars on my train of thought, I present to you...

THOUGHTS I HAD WHILE I WAS SICK

Day One

~I never should have knocked on particle board. Always knock on actual wood!

~My stomach cannot handle much more of this girl's talk about cancer and surgeries that leave holes in people's heads.

~I feel like I'm always having to buy more Nyquil. I don't finish the bottle, but by the time I'm sick again, it's expired. I would get married just to have someone to use up the rest of the Nyquil.

Day Two

~Eat something more than a rice cake before taking a 12 hour Sudafed, lest you start tripping out at work.

~My tongue feels funny.

~Cheap toilet paper is no friend to a tender nose.

~The "Champagne of Dairy"?! What have I gotten myself into? Maceys, where is my normal brand of Peru-style drinkable yogurt?

~Star Wars is the cure for the common cold, right?

~Dear Lemon-Lime Gatorade,

Thank you for your gentle flavor and lack of red dye. I wouldn't want to tempt a migraine when I'm already miserable.

Sincerely,

A Delicate Flower

~A New Hope didn't work. Maybe The Empire Strikes Back will have better luck...

~Here's hoping I don't get sick enough to start mumbling things about the Dagobah system.

Day Three

~"Is that my voice? Is that my voice?"
~I'm feeling better today, so clearly Star Wars had an effect. Better watch Return of the Jedi to make sure.

Day Four

~I wonder what life is like for people who aren't trying to pop their ears every thirty seconds.

And on day five, I had mostly recovered. And so ends the regaling of my odd thoughts while ill.

Thanks for reading.

Checking back in...

Hello, 2016!

Okay, I'll admit it: the Wizarding Wednesday thing sort of failed. It was fun while it lasted, though! It just wasn't very fun trying to stick to a schedule like that (okay, that sounds lame. Whatev).

Some of you may know that I take the Jeopardy online contestant test every year. It's probably been six or seven years since I started. I know I probably won't get on, but it's fun to take it and see how I do (side note: Jeopardy doesn't actually tell you how you do; you have to have someone take pictures and then Google the answers afterward).

My average score has been in the high twenties (out of 50). I think the minimum needed for an in-person audition is about 35, but that's not what this story is about. Last year, I got 19 out of 50. I know this will sound ridiculous, but I was heartbroken. It felt like my intelligence had slipped. I was two years into my current position, and while I still mostly enjoyed where I was, I knew that I was slipping. I knew that my brain was turning to mush from the stress of my job. I was tired of constantly putting out fires and never making any headway. It was no longer a good fit for me. (Please note that I said not a good fit; I have nothing against the position itself. I still have friends on that team and know that they love where they are.)

Shortly after this, I got a promotion! I moved from client relations to leadership, and I love it even more than I thought I would. I love working face to face with people. I love knowing that I'm making a difference. Most of all, I love knowing that my actions directly impact my team for permanent solutions. Despite being in a management role, this last year has been much less stressful.

A couple of weeks ago, I took the Jeopardy test and got 29 out of 50, one of my best scores yet. It felt really good to be back in good mental condition. This past year, I haven't felt like my brain was mush. I haven't felt the need to come home and switch my brain off. I feel excited about the work I'm doing and eager to go in every day. And it's lovely.

I have a feeling that 2016 will be a good year. Of course, that all depends on me and what I do with the year ahead of me. I'm hoping to have more motivation to share the year with you, dear readers, but no promises (Wizarding Wednesday, RIP...unless I feel like reviving it here and there). It does feel good to write, though.

Thanks for reading.

Wizarding Wednesday, the Second

Before I dive into wizarding world speculation, I would like to mention that yesterday marked six years since I began this blog. It's exciting, isn't it? Six years ago, I was starting my last year of college. It seems like a lifetime away. For those of you who have been here since the beginning, I thank you. For anyone else reading, thanks to you too. I really appreciate that anyone would take the time to read my silly ramblings.

My question tonight is: where do wizards do their grocery shopping?

One argument is that wizards do not do grocery shopping, and in fact grow or raise everything that they might need. This could be very likely, especially when one considers that wizards have any manner of clever gardening spells at their disposal. A skilled witch or wizard could procure seeds (say at a gardening shop in Diagon Alley?) and be able to grow anything, regardless of the plant's required growing season or climate. I can just imagine going out into Mrs. Weasley's greenhouse. "And here are the potatoes and carrots, and over there we have pineapple, coconuts, and papayas!"

I can get on board with the growing your own fruits and vegetables, but what about meat? What about wheat and milk? What about butterbeer and fire whiskey? (I suppose Mr Weasley could have a magic distillery in the cellar...) But it seems unlikely that every wizarding family would be running a pared-down farm, even with magical capabilities.

So what are the options for the wizard without a food-producing operation? With Apparition, it would be simple for a witch or wizard to simply travel to the grocer of their choice to pick up anything that they need. The grocer could be within a wizarding area, such as Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade, or could be in the middle of nowhere, perhaps on a wizard's property. They could have a large farm, etc., and set up shop in the middle of a field, and then people would just show up to shop.

A delivery service is another option. Delivers could be made by owls, or, a faster method, via the Floo Network. We know that it's possible for hands to reach through Floo Network fires (Umbridge clawing at the Gryffindor fire in The Order of the Phoenix), so maybe the grocer just sticks their hand in the fire and delivers bags of groceries. You hear a noise in the kitchen and go in to find your shopping sitting neatly on the hearth. I like it.

That's the extent of my thoughts on the subject. Any ideas from the readers?

As always, thanks for reading.

Wizarding Wednesday, the First

Confession: I love Harry Potter. I believe many of you are well aware of this. I just finished listening to the books at work. I find that every time I go through the books again, I am filled with questions about the story and the wizarding world in general. This time around, I wrote down my questions.

I've been wanting for some time to find something more creative to do with my blog. I've decided that, amidst my regular posts of my doings, I will write a post each Wednesday that will attempt to answer, or at least speculate on, these questions.

Today's question is: how did the wizarding world find out about Voldemort's defeat and Harry's survival so quickly? Shouldn't the Fidelius Charm have kept anyone from seeing the wreckage at the house? Who was the first to discover them, and how was word relayed? I suppose it's simple enough that the event, once leaked, was spread by the massive amounts of owls reported in the first book, but how did it originate?

Dumbledore seems the likely candidate. As the caster of the Fidelius Charm and a close friend of the Potters, it is highly possible that he had been brought in on the secret of their location. After all, we know that he is in possession of James' invisibility cloak at the time of James and Lily's deaths. He could have visited them to check up on them and bring them news. How long was the house under the Fidelius Charm? I wouldn't think an incredibly long amount of time, since Peter probably relayed the secret to Voldemort quite quickly.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to find much on the Fidelius Charm. Nothing on Pottermore, and a very confusing paragraph on Harry Potter Wiki that claimed to explain this...but didn't.

So let us assume for the sake of argument that Dumbledore discovered them. He may have been suspicious of Peter, or just felt the need to keep a frequent eye on them. I think it's likely that there were members of the original Order of the Phoenix inconspicuously on watch in Godric's Hollow, ready to report any suspicious activities to Dumbledore. We know that there were children who saw Voldemort that night, so he wouldn't be beyond the notice of an astute guard. Perhaps they tried to stop him, but he disappeared under the protection of the charm before anything could be done. They quickly sent a message to Dumbledore, but by the time he arrived, it was too late. Can you imagine the horrible moment when he arrived to see the house in shambles, only to be the only one to be able to see it? A family destroyed while the rest of the world marched on, unaware.

Having assumed that Dumbledore knew the secret, it would make sense that he would send word to the minister for an official statement, though he may not have included the bit about Harry defeating him. That may have been for members of the Order to spread. I'm sure that's the sort of thing they would all hear about.

That's probably enough speculation on that. I do have one last question, though. Why did it take so long for Hagrid to bring Harry to the Dursleys? We know that the Potters had been discovered by morning, since the owls were out in droves. Did he pick up Harry during the night? It would make more sense to deliver Harry the next night, to avoid the suspicion of neighbors, but where was he all day? Discreetly receiving medical attention in a secret room at St Mungo's? Perhaps he was taken to the home of someone in the Order. Could you just imagine him staying the day at the Longbottoms', hanging out with Neville and sharing infant babble? An early connection that neither of them remembered and the few who knew never thought to mention. Pure speculation, of course.

So now it's your turn! Feel free to comment any thoughts that you have on the subject. I'd love to hear what you think. I know this question had more speculation than actual information. That won't always be the case, but I thought it might be fun to begin at the beginning (though perhaps it might have been more appropriate to open at the close...).

Anyway, thanks for reading.

A Tale of Two Cakes

Cake the First

Once upon a time, I had the whooping cough. Just kidding. I did, however, have a cough for a very long time over the winter. It had been going on for a few weeks when some friends at work started to become concerned. One friend stated that it was probably a whooping cough, which was also known as the 100 days cough, and at the end of 100 days, you die (that last part he made up...probably).

We decided to count off 100 days from the beginning of my cough to see if I was still alive at the end. I marked off the date on my Google calendar, and "invited" a bunch of people. Another friend declared that she would buy me a cake if I survived.

Well, 100 days passed, and I was still alive! My friend kept her word and purchased the cake below, confusing the person decorating it at the bakery (she purchased the dogs separately and put them on herself).

Cake the Second

Did you know that this year is the 800th anniversary of the signing of the Magna Carta? Well, it is. Yet another friend at work was discussing this with cake-buying friend (Rachel) and I and sharing his excitement. A few days before the exciting day, I had to schedule a meeting with him and pulled up his Google calendar. I noticed he had "Magna Carta Party" scheduled during work, but when I asked him about it, he remarked that the people who were going to come to the "party" had bailed. Rachel and I decided that we should have a cake, and also that we should give him a card to commemorate the day. Here is the cake (causing confusion again to the bakery):

And here is the card:

It says " Yo, I know you're declaring your independence, and I'ma let you finish, but the Magna Carta was the best historical document of all time".

Here's the inside:

The "Great" is because Magna Carta is Latin for "Great Charter".

It was a lovely party, and all day long I wished people "Happy Magna Carta Day" and had to explain that to most people. It was a grand time.