The Tale of The Super Tight Spandex Pants

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Today marks my return to the bloggers' world! I haven't done this since the days of livejournal and I'm pretty excited to get going again. Here goes! I hope you all enjoy my rambling, and to start I shall share "The Tale of The Super Tight Spandex Pants".

Monday, I saw a guy on the shuttle bus that was wearing extremely tight spandex pants. Ironically, I had initially thought that the guy was decent looking as he ascending the steps of the bus. This quickly changed into fearful shock as I beheld the extreme tightness of the spandex pants which encased the bottom half of this guy. He looked like he had just been running, but really, that’s no excuse for such apparel. Okay, so you know how usually when guys wear unnecessarily tight pants, you see a sort of bulge in a certain area? Well, these pants were so tight that, unfortunately for everyone on the bus, the man’s…details were on display for all the world to see. I was forced to avert my eyes to avoid the extreme inappropriateness of the display. I’ve decided that maybe tights pants of this extent should be included in the consideration of indecent exposure laws. This was just wrong.

So, today I saw tight-spandex-pants-wearing guy again. I actually saw him yesterday going into the Ray B. West building, but he was wearing jeans, so it was ok. I hope, however, that this doesn’t become a regular occurrence because, frankly, I don’t know if I could take it. This time, our indecent exhibitionist was wearing really, really, short shorts. So short, in fact, that I found myself hoping that the man was wearing some supportive security, lest he accidentally take part in some actual indecent exposure. The shorts, which brought to mind the hot pants of yesteryear, were relatively snug. They weren’t as tight as the spandex pants, but having that image burned into my retinas made it impossible to bear. To make matters worse, the scantily-clad fellow was practically in front of me, and I actually had to turn my head to keep the guy out of my peripheral vision. Quite the adventure...