What's this? Happy Anniversary? I'll take it.

I got a card in the mail today from my place of employment, good ol' JCP. Not from corporate JCP; they only send information for stockholders or my 401k. This was from the local store. I was confused before I opened it because the only cards I ever get from JCP are for my birthday, which is 5 months from now. Taking the card from the envelope and saw the words "Happy Anniversary". I was perplexed for a moment because, as you know, I am not married. I soon realized that the "anniversary" to which the card referred was my anniversary working at the JCP. This month I will have been employed at JCP for a total of 6 years. 6 years! I look back at who I was six years ago and it's a total difference. Of course I wouldn't say that working at JCP has shaped my character and made me who I am today, but I've definitely grown as a result of working there. My supervisor, Jayne, likes to remind me that I've turned into a total fashionista while working at JCP, and I think she's right. For example, six years ago I would never even consider wearing colored tights or red plaid skinny jeans. Other things I wouldn't have done six years ago? Leave my social bubble, wear even relatively dramatic makeup, flirt, and of course write goofy songs and sing them at Village Inn and other locations around town. I guess you could say that I've grown more during my years at JCP than any other period in my life. Of course, it just so happens that most people change a lot during their early 20s regardless of whether they work at JCP or not, but that just isn't as sentimental a thought. So here's to my 6 years at JCP...and here's hoping that I get a new job before the 7th comes to an end because, let's face it. Soon I'll be a college graduate and should really try to move on ;)

My Mind Rebels at Stagnation

Tonight I saw "Sherlock Holmes" for the second time (totally awesome and you should all see it), and I came to an interesting conclusion. I am attracted to arrogantly intelligent men. I suppose I've always known this, but for some reason it clicked during this movie and I was able to provide myself with the clever phrasing of my condition. I began thinking about this the other day while reading Nikki's blog about her attraction to cocky guys. I'm not attracted to guys who are merely cocky; men wrapped up in their own appearances or general awesomeness are rarely worth involving in an intelligent conversation either because they can't focus on it or simply lack the ability. Of course, I also don't want some guy who just spouts out knowledge without any connection to the conversation at hand. There's a happy medium between the know-it-all and the guy who likes to pretend that he's not smart, an infuriating sort of modesty that you really want to admire but can't quite bring yourself to.

I have a couple of models for this mysterious and most likely non-existent enigma of masculinity: Sherlock Holmes (as played by Robert Downey, Jr.; sadly I have never actually read the stories) and Benjamin Franklin Gates (as played by Nicholas Cage in the "National Treasure" movies). These men, albeit fictional characters, have a sort of off-handed way of making their intelligence known. Sherlock Holmes uses extreme attention to detail as the basis of his deductive reasoning, but what makes him different from other simply observant characters (like, say, Shawn Spencer) is that he combines the details with his extensive knowledge and comes to a conclusion by way of his genius. Of course, it doesn't hurt that his period clothing, carelessly mussed hair, and strategically unshaven facial hair make him next to devastatingly handsome. While Nicholas Cage isn't nearly as handsome as Robert Downey, Jr., his character does have a vast amount of historical knowledge that he also uses to concoct plans such as stealing the Declaration of Independence or sneaking a peek at the matching Resolute desks. These men win because of their minds. Even when Holmes wins a fight, it's because he has evaluated his opponents' weaknesses and taken advantage of them with efficiency.

Now, I realize that this is asking a lot of the menfolk out there. I'm not saying he has to be a genius, and he doesn't even have to know the same things that I know. In fact, I would love it if I could actually feel stupid around a guy for just a minute. Let me make my meaning on this absolutely clear. I am not saying that I am so much smarter than every guy that they are all idiots. I am not saying that I am not able to have great conversations with guys. And I am absolutely not saying that I want a guy to treat me like I'm an idiot or make me feel bad about myself. What I mean is that I would love for a guy to go off on a subject for just a minute about a topic way over my head. This probably sounds weird, but I really respect intelligent guys. I've been told before that I am a smart girl. Whether or not that's actually true is debatable, but I've also heard that guys can be intimidated by smart girls. I would love to let the tables be turned on me, not to appear like some weak-minded female, but to let the guy know that he definitely has the upper hand in some part of the relationship. This is all starting to sound a little crazy. I really hope that my readers will take what I'm saying with a grain of salt and look for the meaning of my rant rather than hold my own words against me.

One more note: I know you're probably all going to tell me that I'm being too picky and that I shouldn't overlook a perfectly great guy because he doesn't perfectly fit the mold. Don't worry; I have no intention of turning this into some unbreakable rule that all guys must measure up to, that would be ridiculous. I'm just ranting about the possibilities of the ideal.

Funny, Freud never mentioned that one...

I would like to submit for your consideration the English major complex. We as English majors own a certain amount of arrogance. Don't get me wrong; most of us are delightful people who can still function as valuable members of society and get along with people, but deep down we're really quite arrogant. Why are we arrogant, you may ask? I'll tell you. Our arrogance mainly stems from two sectors: professors and the mocking public. English majors (no matter their emphasis) spend a fair amount of time poring over texts and expressing their opinions. Anything we say is valid as long as we can support it with evidence from the text, even if that evidence is as minor as the capitalization of a single word or the use of alliteration in a line of poetry. Our professors applaud us even when we are incorrect. This leads us to think that we can do no wrong.

We also draw our arrogance out of the defense of our major. People make fun of us and, rather than simply defending ourselves, we use the existing arrogance to make out that we are better than everyone else.

I would also like to mention that we English majors also plan to change the world. Not in a "Save the Whales" sort of way, but in an "I've written the most amazing book and you are all brought to tears" sort of way. Just a side note.

Principle in practice: a couple of my friends and I are taking a class outside of the English department to learn how to use Flash. Nikki and I, rather than asking for help from the professor, prefer to figure it out by ourselves away from the prying eyes of judgment. We do this because we don't like to be told we're wrong while we're trying to figure it out on our own. We know we'll have to mess around with the program and make mistakes along the way, but we also know that we'll figure it out eventually given the right resources. We don't want anyone to tell us how to do our projects. We want to be right and we want to get there on our own.

And that, my friends, is a look inside my head.

P.S. I'm really not a jerk...I'm just a little arrogant...and only some of the time ;)

How Microsoft Word Broke My Dreams

One of my favorite features of Word is the ability to add words to your "dictionary" so that the program will recognize it and stop underlining it with that vicious-looking squiggly red line. This situation presented itself last night as I was writing a response for an essay I read. The sentence read like so: "[The author] seemed to be making an attempt to quell the concerns of an ocean of trepidatious writers". As I reviewed with pride the line that I had written, I saw the the word "trepidatious" was underlined with that squiggly red line! I thought to myself, Surely this fabulous word is actually real. Could it be that I have made up a word that no one has thought to use before? I decided that whether it was real or not, I would leave it in my paper and add the word to my handy dandy dictionary (not to be confused with the handy dandy notebook). As I selected "Add to Dictionary", I expected the judgment of the red squiggle to fade away, leaving only the happiness of a new word learned behind it. Alas, this was not to be. No matter how many times I tried to add "trepidatious" to my dictionary, Word refused to actually add the word and the squiggle remained! Why, Word, why?! I questioned in pain. Why do you not allow me to add words to my dictionary? I really have no idea why it wouldn't work. I've added all sorts of words: French words, Shakespearean words, even Middle English. I was completely baffled.

The story ends thusly (which is definitely a word that I had to add to the dictionary): I printed my response out and turned it in, regardless of the opinion of my word processing software. Later, as I prepared to commit this tale to my blog, I looked up the word to find out once and for all if it was actually a real word. The answer...is yes! Trepidatious is a word! If you care to see the physical proof, you may do so here.

And that is how Microsoft Word broke (or at least attempted to break) my dreams.

The Latest...

Last night we had a JCP party at Village Inn. As per tradition, I wrote a song. I like to re-write lyrics to songs for my JCP friends. Last night's was not my finest work. It's not unusual for me to write songs the night that I'll be performing them, but I wrote this one super fast and it's not the great. Nonetheless, I have chosen to put the words and video (taken by my friend/co-worker's phone) on my blog to share. To liven things up, I made knife puppets with the letters "J', "C", and "P" and handed them out to the audience. The song doesn't really have a title, and is to the tuen of "Dancing Queen" by ABBA. Here are the words:

Friday night here at Village Inn,
You've all been anticipatin'
Wonderin' if there would be a song
Wonderin' if there'd be a song
a song written by me.

Sharing stories and crackin' jokes
Dr. Peppers and Diet Cokes
Wondering what you should order
Wondering who will be here
at Village Inn tonight.

It's such a lovely sight.

Party with JCP
You and me in great company.
We are soooo awesome, yeah, wouldn't you agree?
Oh yeah!

Eat some pie! Eat a fry!
Having the time of your night.
Oooo- Tomorrow we'll work, but tonight we're free.
Party JCP!

You can watch the video here.

Make it true, Alex, make it true.

What's this? What's this? A reference to my favorite game show on the planet? Heck yes! Your favorite Deathcab Cutie (or at least, I hope your favorite. How many Deathcab Cuties could there be?) has officially registered for the online JEOPARDY! test. This is how it happened. I received an e-mail the other day informing me of upcoming online tests. I decided to register for the College Tournament, but when I got to the page I saw that the locations for the next round of in-person auditions were all really far away. I gave up for the moment, but after receiving encouragement I decided to go for it anyway and see what happened. The second time I went to register, I realized that I wasn't eligible for the College Tournament because I'm graduating this semester so I decided to go for the Adult test and, lo and behold, there was an in-person audition possibility in Salt Lake City, UT! So I am now officially registered to take the test and will be doing so in two weeks. Even if nothing else ever happens, I'm really excited to just give it a chance, just to see.

How cool would it be if I got on JEOPARDY!, though?

"Yeah, it's the Rockies!"

Confession: I have seen Dumb and Dumber, and while it is far from my favorite and would not be my pick if given a choice, I will admit that there are some funny moments. One such moment is when Jim Carrey (I don't really remember their character names) tells Jeff Daniels that he's wearing an extra pair of gloves because they're in the Rockies, a moment I was reminded of when I pulled on an extra pair of gloves this morning. Today was the first day of the semester, of my last semester (!), and even though I only had an aerobics class that got out early I still got the rush that comes from being on campus and being among students. I love the first day of classes, when you make the trek up in the bitter cold (or sweltering August heat), search for your classroom and take a seat, anxiously awaiting the entrance of the professor and wondering whether you will actually know any of your classmates. I always feel the excitement to learn combined with the apprehension that comes of not fully knowing what the class entails or not being familiar with the professor teaching that class. I love it all. In some ways, I'm a little saddened that this will be my last semester, but I really think that I'm ready to move on with my life. I've finally become reconciled to the idea of getting a real job, moving out of my parents house, and depending on myself for my survival. This coming year holds a lot of major events for me, and I'm really looking forward to becoming an "adult". Wish me luck!