The Last Chance Ward: A New Perspective

Brief introduction for those not familiar with singles wards: I don't know exactly how it works in other places, but in Logan there are roughly a gajillion wards for the 18-30 single crowd. There is, however, only one ward for those who reach the age of 31 without finding themselves a spouse. This ward is the next level, the place where the 31-45 year old singles have one more opportunity to try to find that special someone before they have to go back to the family ward.  I suppose it may sound sad, but really, most people in Logan do get married before 31, so it's not like there are a lot of people around to populate said ward. Also, it doesn't make much sense to have singles' ward above 45, when there are even fewer people. These are the facts.

Back when I was eighteen or so, when the 31-45 ward seemed a million years away and I was sure that I'd be married by then, I thought it would be really funny to make up a clever nickname for the ward of single adults: The Last Chance Ward. My friends were amused, and it was adopted into our vernacular. It seemed like a hilarious name for a place that I would never have to go.

I've been using this nickname for several years now, so much so that I never refer to that ward in any other way. I use it in casual conservation with people who are unaware that I made up this nickname. I even managed to accidentally lead a co-worker to believe that The Last Chance Ward is the ward's actual name, for which I do feel bad.

Years went by, and I am now 27.5 years old and unmarried (no pity or encouraging comments, please. It's just part of the story). It's been occurring to me lately that I may well be attending The Last Chance Ward someday, and that it might be a good idea to come up with a new, slightly less demeaning name. After a brief brainstorm in Sunday School, I came up with something I like: The New Adventure Ward. Sure, it's a bit cheesy, but it sounds so much better! I think The New Adventure Ward and I don't feel like I'm resigning myself to spinsterhood; I'm just moving on to something different. So what if I don't get married in the Young Single Adult ward? I mean, yeah, that would be great, but that's not God's plan for everyone.

This is my new perspective. And who knows? Three and a half years is a long time, and I could very well get married in that time. If I don't, though, I feel a little better about moving on to the next step. Bonus: no 18 year olds! haha.

Thanks for reading.

Seasonal Song Spectacular! Part Two

I have a few minutes before heading off to work (I may or may not have scheduled a few hours of vacation time to sleep in after going to the midnight release of The Hobbit), so I thought I'd share a crazy song that I've only ever heard on one of my dad's Christmas tapes. It's quite goofy, but I hope you'll all enjoy it and get a chuckle or two:

Thanks for reading...and listening :)

Seasonal Song Spectacular! Part One

So I was sitting at my apartment, waiting for my Swelling Potion to brew on Pottermore (nerd alert!) and wondering what I could go with the next sixty minutes, when it came to me: blogging! And as I've been listening to Christmas music all day, I came up with a wonderful plan: share some excellent songs of the season on my blog.

To kick it off, we begin with this:

I think this is such a beautiful song, and such a beautiful reminder of the true meaning of Christmas.

Thanks for reading...and watching :)

I'm back! And I brought George with me

Hello friends! I'm very glad to be back with all of you in the land of internet. How have you all been? Good? I'm glad.

For my first post back after my incidental hiatus, I thought I'd tell you all what I did today. But first, a little story...

As a Seinfeld fan, I've always considered one of the tragedies of cell phones to be the fact that I could never do this:

I mean, there's nothing stopping me, but this really works best with a landline. For example, I can still answer calls when I'm not home because my cell phone is with me! Maybe it's just the English major in me, but the idea of something not making sense like that sort of eats at me, so I never did it.

I've been complaining about this for several years. Finally, while attending a football game with the family, I brought up the subject to my brother, Bret, a fellow Seinfeld fan. His view was that I should just get over myself and my English major pretentiousness and record the dang message. We discussed how most of the calls I miss come while I'm at work, aka not home. So while the message is slightly inaccurate, it's not wrong.

So I did it. Of course, I had to go about it very carefully. After all, people would be hearing this when I'm "not home". I watched the above video several times, studying the melody and words. I did a few dry runs, singing to myself (and perhaps creeping out my downstairs neighbor). Finally, I took a deep breath, recorded the message...and then sent a text message to my sister that said, "Quick! Call me and listen to my voice mail message. Let me know if I sound like a total idiot".

She called, listened, and approved. Of course, I'm sure it still sounds kind of goofy, and probably a lot of people won't get it, but I think it's fun.

So there it is! I finally did something I've been considering since I got my first cell phone. Yay me!

After a long, long absence, thanks for reading.

A Note, for Anyone who Wondered....

Hey friends,

So...I moved a couple of months ago, and I still have yet to set up my internet. Because I'm lame like that. Well, mostlyI'm awesome, but in this particular thing, I'm kinda lame. I think I lack that nesting instinct that women are supposed to have. I dunno.


Anyways, someday I will get internet set up in my new home, and then I will try to fill you all in on the last couple of months, especially as concerns my extra awesome bachelorette pad! Which I may someday complete decorating...


As always, thanks for reading.

Dear Boysin'

I feel that I may never get tired of writing these fun little posts. Welcome to this week's....




Dear Ampersand,

Today, I make a commitment to use you much more often, on account of your awesomeness & classy ways.

Sincerely,
English Nerd


Dear ZL,

I listed you as my celebrity crush today, but I also listed Robert Downey, Jr (I can't help it; he's Iron Man & Sherlock Holmes!). Anyway, watch your back.

Sincerely,
Little Ol' Me


Dear Ross,

Today I found out you were an engineering student....'nuff said.

Sincerely,
Rachel


Dear Puppy,

You live in Salt Lake with my brother now & I am sad (though I must admit to not missing the fur all over). People can call & text; dogs cannot. Why don't you just grow some opposable thumbs already?!

Sincerely,
Former Dog Semi-Owner


Dear Decades Guy,

I did not foresee a Southern accent coming out of you. Nevertheless, thanks for selling me that rad vintage purse. I will visit again, I'm sure.

Sincerely,
Girl Who Loves Old Stuff


Dear Tiresias,

FYI, one week more. Also, I kinda like your beard.

Sincerely,
Girl with an Interesting New Theory On Beards & Such

Right now...

Here are things I should be doing right now:

~laundry so I can wear clothes
~packing for my move in the near future
~proofreading the employee handbook for a coworker
~working on my quilt so I don't have to keep using the old comforter that really belongs to my mom

Here are the things I am actually doing:

~checking Facebook
~browsing Pinterest
~watching reruns of The Big Bang Theory
~watching the numerous commercials for that new show on TBS and trying to convince myself that I am not attracted to Danny Masterson now that he has better hair and a beard and is not playing a stoner
~continuing my week-long phase of super wanting to be at Disneyland
~blogging about all of the above

Oh, well. Life is still good :) In the meantime, please enjoy some love from my last trip to the Happiest Place on Earth.

Thanks for reading.